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Posts from December, 2009

Buy One. Or, Don’t. I Don’t Care.

Dec 30

The folks at Cullman Liquidation are painfully honest in their “epic” commercial. I love the deadpan delivery and lackluster style of this brilliant approach. The animal sounds are a very nice addition the vignettes of the employees (Can you say cougar?!). Awesome. Just awesome.

Santa Be Sketchy, Yo.

Dec 19

Just in time for the holidays, “Sketchy Santas!” These are some scary-ass Santas, folks. No better way to remember that traumatic moment that some of you may have experienced as a kid. Yowzers!

For a great laugh, give @SketchySanta a follow on Twitter. Some of my favorite recent tweets:

  • My all-day lap party has been cut short due to an ‘altercation’ w/ mall security.
  • Can somebody bring me a 32oz Coke w/ ice, lid and straw from the food court? And pour out about half of the Coke? Thx
  • Just woke up on a park bench. Can somebody give me a ride to the mall??
  • Is there a ‘five second rule’ on other people’s gum?
  • Just got a whiff of my beard – Gruyère n’ Jameson

See also: Suspicious Vans. Stay away from “sleigh rides” in these vehicles, kids.

Beautifully Ugly Tattoos

Dec 05

Exhibit a

My friends know that I’m obsessed with PeopleOfWalmart.com. That was, until I discovered UgliestTattoos.com. It’s the sweet spot of lowbrow. The bullseye of trashy. The chewy center of bad decisions. Believe me, this website is guaranteed to leave you scratching your head in confusion and asking yourself, “Why?”

A few of my recent favorites: